Good Inner Voices

                          MOST people (70-80 %) are run       
                        internally run by the combination 
                        of their bad Pig Parent * (introject) 
                        & their wounded Inner Child **  
                        because of their inadequate, 
                        neglectful or abusive upbringing.
                 *PP voice always starts with  “You ...”
                       **WC voice starts with  “I....”

    If you listen carefully, you’ll begin to hear one 
    or the other ‘voice’ in the people around you, 
    as well as in movies, music, books...everywhere!  

    IN RECOVERY (emotional healing) our task is        
            to develop Healthy Adult & Loving Parent                              
                                   ‘good voices’ (ego states).
                                     This combination is 
                                     needed to replace the role  
                                     of the bad parent in our  
                                     head.  Our child-part must         
                                     be wooed * away from 
                                     listening to, believing &        
                                     obeying that harsh, 
                                     negative point of view.

 * In order for that to happen, the good voice must 
     show up consistently, be truthful, accurate, 
    valid, and KIND  -  i.e. prove itself trustworthy!     
                                                                (See >>>>)

    A strong, healthy voice is needed to be a  
   CHAMPION for the kid’s needs and its right 
   to feel safe & loved.P.A.C._Traits.htmlshapeimage_2_link_0

            

  Our good PARENT/ADULT  
     ‘component’ has 3 over-all         

  1. To separate the Bad Parent (PP) &   
    Wounded Child (WC) in order to stop 
    the child from being relentlessly 
    subjected to un-loving / un-helpful 
    Internally, you may only hear one or  
    the other. Even so, the PP is in charge    
    & the WC has no choice but to submit  
    & comply.   
  2. To nurture, guide & take care of 
    the Kid, both the Healthy & the  
    Damaged parts of our child.  To 
    have more comfortable & fulfilled 
    lives, we need to grow the skills &  
    attitudes which generate self-care.   
    Even if we were not properly parented 
    as kids, now as grown-ups we need to   
    stop waiting for someone else to rescue  
    us. Even if we can get someone to do  
    that, it comes with a painful price -  it 
    keeps us from finding out how capable  
    we really are, it’s humiliating & it 
    keeps us afraid - what if they leave??

  3. To interact efficiently with the 
    ‘world’ in order to get ALL our needs 
     met - in the healthiest, best ways   
     possible, given our individual 
     circumstances & abilities. 
                                D. M. Torbico 2010

   can remind both the  
    Wounded and the
   Healthy Child these  
    contrasts between   
    past & current  
EVEN THOUGH... parents weren’t available to me, I can be parents couldn’t admit that I had needs, I can parents were in denial, I don’t have to be parents couldn’t say ‘I love you’ even when they were sober, I 
      can admit my love (to self & others), without being drunk parents used alcohol to hide their emotions, I can admit that I 
      have emotions & I can feel & deal with them in a healthy way parents used alcohol to avoid listening to their ‘still small voice’, 
      I can sit & listen, even when I’m afraid of what I’ll hear parents didn’t treat me as a real person, I’m learning to recognize 
      & admit my own worth parents used alcohol to avoid change, I can be open to possibilities    
      without panic
  ...I was raised in a home of denial, I don’t live there anymore!

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PARENT / ADULT / CHILDParent_Adult_Child.html

Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists

HEAL & GROW  for ACoAs
INNER CHILDInner_Child.html