1. 1...confuse our boss or supervisor with our alcoholic parents and have   similar relationship patterns, behaviors, and reactions that are carryovers from childhood

2... confuse our co-workers with our siblings or our

    alcoholic parents and repeat childhood reactions in

   those working relationships

3... expect lavish praise and acknowledgment from our

    boss for our efforts on the job

4... are afraid of authority figures & feel afraid when we

     need to talk to them

5... get a negative gut reaction when dealing with

    someone who has the physical characteristics or

    mannerisms of our alcoholic parent

6... have felt isolated and different from everyone

    around us, but we don’t really know why

7... lose our temper when things upset us rather than

     dealing with problems productively

8... busy ourselves with our co-workers’ jobs, often

    telling them how to do their work.

9... can get hurt feelings when co-workers do things s

     socially together without asking us, even though we

     have not made an effort to get to know them and join

     in the social life

10... are afraid to make the first move to get to know a

      co-worker better, thinking they will not like us or

      approve of us

11... usually do not know how to ask for what we want or

      need on the job, even for little things

12... do not know how to speak up for ourselves when

     someone has said or done something inappropriate

     try desperately to avoid face-to-face confrontations



13...are sensitive and can get extremely upset

    with any form of criticism of our work

14... want to be in charge of every project or activity,

    feeling more comfortable when in control of every 

    detail, rather than letting others be responsible

15...may be the workplace “clown” to cover up our

    insecurities or to get attention from others

16... are people-pleasers and may take on extra work,

    or our co-worker’s tasks, in order to be liked and 

    receive approval from others

17...don’t know how to be assertive in getting our

    needs met or expressing a concern, &  have to

    repeatedly rehearse our words before saying them

18..have felt that we do not deserve a raise,

    promotion,  better workspace, or a better job

19...don’t know how to set boundaries, and we let 

     others interrupt us. We can accept more work

     without knowing how to say ‘no’ appropriately

20... are perfectionists about our own work and expect

     others to be the same and have the same work

     ethics and values

21...become workaholics because it gives us a feeling of

     self-worth we did not get as a child.

22... may jump from job to job, looking for the perfect

    position as the substitute for the secure and

    nurturing home environment we did not have.

23...get upset when people do things that affect us or

    our work without asking us first.

24...have a high tolerance for workplace dysfunction &

    tend to stick it out in an unhappy job because we

    lack the self-esteem to leave.

   ACoAs often transfer behaviors & attitudes learned in childhood into all 
   aspects of their adult lives. Many are drawn to emotionally hi-stress jobs 
   or professions - mostly Heros & Scapegoats (see pg 15) - without the tools 
   to cope.  In true co-dependent fashion, we become overwhelmed & then 
   blame ourselves!


Knowledge – never stop learning; knowledge will to help you secure expert status in your field of business

Skills – Continue to fine tune and learn new 
    skills, whether it’s computer skills, or 
    something about your field 

Contacts – Always be on the look out for new people to meet and network with. You never know if that person you took time to help last week may improve your fortunes one day

Character – Strength of character says a lot about a person and whether people will take you seriously or not. Accept responsibility and tell the truth

Money  – Be responsible with your financial affairs. You may need some extra cash to invest in an opportunity that could make you millions in the future. Without money that chance just passes you by

Good Work Habits – Practice good time management, stay late to meet a deadline, or get up early for a workout in the gym before work. Your work habits are proportional to what you can achieve financially in the future

Image – First impressions are everything. If you dress like a bum, then be prepared to be treated like a bum

Creativity – Spend time on fine tuning your creative skills. Competition is everywhere & you will want to do things better, faster and cheaper (if possible) than them

Positive Mental Attitude – Look for the good 
   in everyone and everything. Remember that    
   prospects will only buy from people they know 
   are nice to be around (but not kiss-ups)

Luck – Put all the previous 9 things into 
   practice and number 10 will be automatic
 1. Get on a good schedule : We need structure & routine, 
  for body & mind to function best. Find a schedule that works & 
  stick to it.
  2. Eat a healthy diet : The brain needs the right nutrients 
  to work at it’s peak. Eating right can avoid health problems 
  later in life.
 3. Learn to exercise : We need physical activity to stay 
  healthy. Find a routine that’s fun & suitable to your lifestyle
 4. Practice gratitude : Envying others is a bad habit to get 
  into. At the end of the each day think about the good things 
  that happened & take a few minutes to give thanks.
 5. Develop good study habits : It’s not automatic but has 
  to be learned. People who live the fullest lives are lifelong 
  learners. Brain plasticity, right into old age, requires regularly    
  learning new skills.
 6. Never give up! :  Perseverance is a habit that has to be 
  practiced to have any kind of success. Setbacks can be 
  daunting, but after regrouping, forge on.
 7. Manage money wisely : Earn, save, budget, track &  
  spend wisely - to succeed. Read, learn & put into practice 
  good habits to be clear & accurate.
 8. Respect the environment : It’s ‘hip’ to be green, but 
  not new. Everyone needs to protect our world so it’ll be there 
  for us & our children.
 9. Strive for excellence : Develop the habit of giving every 
  tasks ones best effort to get the best results. Excellence (not 
  perfection) is a good standard.
10. Live the Golden Rule : “Do unto others...” avoids
  a lot of conflict & tragedy in relationships. Strive to respect  
  everyone, no matter how different.
11. Practice good hygiene : means ‘dress for success’.
  1st impressions are powerful, mostly based on appearance. 
  Keep up little things that make for a sharper presentation.
12. Always tell the truth! : It comes out anyway, sooner 
   or later. Lying just complicated things & makes us look bad.
13. Ask for what you want : No one is a mind reader. 
   You may be surprised how often you get what you need, or 
   want.  It builds confidence & self-esteem. 
14. Be a regular reader : It has many benefit - builds 
   vocabulary, expands the imagination & encourages creativity. 
   The better your skill, the better in business & conversation.
15. Be punctual : People notice when we’re late - so be
   on time.  It shows if you mean what you say & can be trusted - 
   or not. Don’t canst doubt in people’s mind about this.
16. Respect authority : they have a job to do& often 
  work hard to get that position. They deserve at least respect 
  & good manners. It’ll save a lot of hassles!
17. Tend to your spiritual needs : This cannot be 
  ignored if we’re to have a full life. Whatever one’s beliefs, it 
  benefits us greatly  practiced & explored them to it’s depths.
from Self-News
 by Fred Joiners, 2008

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