Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists


  1. I acknowledge something terrible happened

     - I know it’s not my imagination

  2. I’m aware on some level that something  

      was done to me - I was a victim of sexual  

      abuse / incest when I was a child

  3.  I recognize I’m a true survivor, having

       chosen life over suicide

  4. I recognize & begin to change thoughts  of

      being ‘contaminated’ & ‘damaged goods’

  5. I feel angry about being used & abused

  6. I feel rage at my non-protecting parent(s)    

      (often the mother)

  7. I discuss the abuse honestly with therapists

     & other healers & groups

  8. I tell a non-family member about the abuse

  9. I tell a family member who didn’t know        


10. I slowly re-experience & deal with emotions  

      suited to each incident of abuse

11. I begin giving up my belief that I was   

      responsible for the abuse occurring

12. I’m recognizing that, at the time of the

      abuse, my actions & reactions were 

      appropriate to the situation - it was the

      abuser who was not acting appropriately!

13. I’m slowly understanding how the past  

     molestation has effected my current

     relationships & patterns of behavior

14. I’m able to lower my resistance to talking

     about the abuse with others, without all

     the details



15. I’m dealing with residual guilt if I got 

    physical pleasure from the any part of the 

    molestation, and I’m coming to accept the

    fact that the human body has natural

    responses to being touched, regardless

    of the source.

16. If I perceived any aspect of the abuse

    as positive (like having special status in

    the family),  I’m beginning to understand   

    & accept those childhood feelings

17. I see the connection between the abuse &

    my current relationships, & am developing 

    some control over recreating to those hooks

18. I recognize I have a choice to confront my

    perpetrator(s) - or not

19. I’m beginning to see what I want from 

     relationships now, whether sexual or not

20. I can to enjoy different forms of intimacy

21. I’m developing a sense of self and my

     self-esteem is increasing

22. I’m becoming more at ease with the topic

     of my abuse & that of others I hear about

23. I know that I can chose to forgive my

     perpetrator - or not

24. I’m in touch with my old rage which        

     used to negatively effect all my

     experiences & feelings but it’s no longer

     a constant companion, which is a relief

TYPES of LOVELove.html
Email Me

Home  •  SITE MAP  •  About Me  •  ACoA Traits  •  Article  • Books  •  Boundaries  •  Co-Dependence  • Course  •  Decisions  •  Definitions  •  Effective Responses  • Emotions  •  Family Roles  •   Friends  •   Healthy Rules  • Inner Child •  Links  •  Love  •  Recovery  •  Relationships  •  Toxic Rules  •  Trust 

SEXUAL ABUSE EFFECTSSexual_Abuse_Effects.html