change our ‘spirit’ – continually     
    breaking the same boundary is    
    caused by some wound in the  
    Child part, that needs to be 
    healed / overcome
 be imposed as a control to 
    change someone else’s actions. 
    We must decide what we will  
    or will not allow, but can’t   
    force another person to change      
    by having our own Bs. 
•  set Bs for others
 protect from OR encourage  
    negative behavior counter to  
    our morals, values:
        If a ‘boundary’ encourages  
    unhealthy behavior, it has no 
   element of love and protection



  1. Understand that boundaries are 

      essential for you.

  2. Be willing to educate others on how

      to respect your boundaries.

  3. Be persistent but don’t punish others

      if they’ve forgotten your boundary.

      Just be persistent.

  4. Make a list of 10 things that people    

      may no longer do around you, do to

      you, or say to you.

  5. Sit down with each person involved

      &  share with him/her your process.

      Gain their agreement in honoring    

      your boundary.

  6. Insist that every person in your life  

      deliver their comments in positive  

      ways. No more digs, make-funs,  

      depreciating remarks, criticisms - no

      matter what the situation may be  


  7. Create a four-step plan of action  

      whenever someone violates your Bs

      a. Inform them of what they're doing

      b. Request they stop immediately

      c. Demand that they stop

      d. Walk away without sarcasm or

          nasty get-even comments

  8. Make a list of 10 ways you are

      violating other people's Bs

  9. Stop violating the Bs on that list

  1. 10.Thank anyone who honors your    boundaries



  • are pre-set guidelines for all areas 

     of life  (when we’re regressed, we

     may need someone to help us re-

     established them)  

  • protect our values & our right to 

     always be treated with dignity and   


  • protect from letting anyone enter our 

     lives inappropriately or try getting us

     to do anything we don’t want to do

  • protect us from our own emotional  

     instability, in vulnerable situations

  • act as a warning sign when we are 

     about enter places that are dangerous

  • prescribe specific consequences when

     a boundary is breached

HEALTHY BOUNDARIESHealthy_Boundaries.html

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Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists

BOUNDARY INVASIONSBoundary_Invasions.html
Freedom Life Coaching, Sue Birkam
newlifespiritrecovery.com , Stephanie Tucker