PURPOSE of the INNER Parent•Adult•Child*
This was formulated by Eric Berne in ‘GAMES PEOPLE PLAY‘.
These personae were conceived as conscious ego states which
everyone has, with their own specific purpose & specialty
*These 3 states need to be interactive & when working together constitute
a healthy Ego. They are first & foremost to be used by you for YOU!
INNER CHILD
Background Info
(P)The PARENT part
For the survival of the species:
❦ holds all the lessons learned (of values,
skills, rules, social laws...) from which you
respond automatically to situations. This
saves time & frees up the Adult part to
make decisions ‘in the now’
❦ draws from your family experience, your
native personality and what you’ve taught
yourself - in effectively parenting the next
generation (one’s own children, or others
who are in genuine need)
☯
(A) The ADULT part
For the survival of the self:
❦ holds the accumulated data of all your
experiences. It is rational, deals with
reality & lives in the present. It contains the
process by which we deal with the outside
world - to organize, evaluate & do tasks ...
❦ is in charge of regulating the activities of
both the Parent & the Child parts and
intervene between them when necessary -
to not let the Parent become too rigid,
controlling, pontificating, nor the Child
get too out of control, selfish, hurtful...
(C) The CHILD part is made up of
❦ the ADAPTED* Child
It is a necessary aspect of the kid - who learns
what is expected of it in its particular
society. It is moulded by every component
of its environment, everyday of childhood.
It incorporates the lessons of one’s family,
school, society & religion. In kids from healthy
homes, it holds healthy rules & mores
* For ACoAs, this is our Damaged part, which
has been programmed to follow the ‘Toxic
rules’. It becomes a false self in order to
survive, hiding parts of the ‘true self’ so
deeply we may not even know it’s there.
Even so, the true self (Natural Child) can
show up, although distorted, in our choice of
career, leisure activities, tastes, Enneagram
number & Myers-Briggs, style of thinking &
responding to the world, type of addictions....
❦ the NATURAL Child
The core essence of your individuality -
what you were born as, your heredity, all
native capacities & tendencies. It is the aspect
which has often been suppressed to the point
of being invisible, while the damaged child is
in the foreground.
It’s the silent part of the Inner Child which
often goes unrecognized, unappreciated,
unexplored... or is deliberately suppressed !
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Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists