Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists
NARCISSISTIC Traits
CHARACTERISTICS
MENTAL
-Rationalize their motives
-Pathological liars
- Conversations to gain for themselves only, at others’ expense. If trapped - they keep talking, change the subject, or attack (anger)
- Tremendous need to control other people, conversations & situations - must have first & last word
PSYCHOLOGICAL
- Little if any conscience
- No real values. Reactions are mostly situational
- Lack of ability to see how they come off to others
- Project own faults onto others
- Defensive when confronted with their behavior. It’s never their fault
- People are to be manipulated to get their own needs met
-Present a good front to impress & exploit others
-Sabotage their partner - want them to only be happy thru the N.
- Male Ns will break a woman’s spirit to keep her dependent
- Keep partner from having outside friends & interests
EMOTIONAL
- Insensitive to the needs & emotions of others
- No remorse for mistakes or misdeeds
-Self-centered. Their needs are paramount
- Low stress tolerance. Easily gets angry or rageful
-Can get emotional, even tearful. This is from frustration OR for show, rather than genuine sorrow
-Hang on to resentments, very slow to forgive
-Use understand & caring to manipulate
-Mercurial / unpredictable moods - switch from ‘nice’ to mean, with no provocation
-Does not share true emotions or ideas
- Don’t care about the consequences of their action
-Hide their true self - always ‘on’
BEHAVIORAL
-Use sex to control
-Need to use threats & intimidation to keep people attached to them
-Unreliable, undependable- Secret life - hide money, friends, activities
- Repeatedly fail to keep their promises or obligations
-Need to create disruption (like annoying people) & chaos for no reason
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