Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists





  1. -Rationalize their motives

  2. -Pathological liars

- Conversations to gain for themselves only, at others’ expense. If trapped  - they keep talking, change the subject, or attack (anger)

- Tremendous need to control other people, conversations & situations - must have first & last word


- Little if any conscience

- No real values. Reactions are mostly situational

- Lack of ability to see how they come off to others

- Project own faults onto others

- Defensive when confronted with their behavior. It’s never their fault

- People are to be manipulated to get their own needs met

  1. -Present a good front to impress & exploit others

  1. -Sabotage their partner - want them to only be happy thru the N.

- Male Ns will break a woman’s spirit to keep her dependent

- Keep partner from having outside friends & interests



- Insensitive to the needs & emotions of others

- No remorse for mistakes or misdeeds

  1. -Self-centered. Their needs are paramount

  2. - Low stress tolerance. Easily gets angry or rageful

  3. -Can get emotional, even tearful. This is from frustration OR for show, rather than genuine sorrow

  4. -Hang on to resentments, very slow to forgive

  5. -Use understand & caring to manipulate

  6. -Mercurial / unpredictable moods - switch from ‘nice’ to mean, with no provocation

  7. -Does not share true emotions or ideas

- Don’t care about the consequences of their action

  1. -Hide their true self - always ‘on’


  1. -Use sex to control

  2. -Need to use threats & intimidation to keep people attached to them

  3. -Unreliable, undependable- Secret life - hide money, friends, activities

  4. - Repeatedly fail to keep their promises or obligations

  5. -Need to create disruption (like annoying people) & chaos for no reason

From :”The Gaslight Effect”, Dr. Robin Stern
      See “links Page’ for more info on NPD
LAUNDRY LIST  M-WLaundry_list_%28M-W%29.html
COGNITIVE DISTORTIONSCognitive_Distortions.html

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