Memo from Childshapeimage_2_link_0shapeimage_2_link_1shapeimage_2_link_2


  Y  Don’t make me feel that my mistakes 
    are sins. It upsets my sense of values.

   Y  Don’t be afraid to be firm with me - I 
    prefer it. It makes me feel secure.

   Y Don’t make me feel smaller than I am. 
    It only makes me act stupidly ‘big’.

   Y  Don’t put me off when when I ask 
    questions.  If you do, you’ll find that I 
    stop asking, & look for my info elsewhere.

   Y  Don’t forget that I can’t always explain   
    myself as well as I’d like. That’s why I’m   
    not always clear or accurate.
   from a CHILD”

  Y  Don’t protect me from consequences.  
     I sometimes need to learn the hard way. 

 Y  Don’t be too upset when I say ‘I hate   
    you’. Sometimes it isn’t you I hate, but 
    your power to stop me.

 Y Don’t take too much notice of my 
    small ailments.  Sometimes they get me 
    the attention I need.

  Y Don’t nag. If you do, I’ll have to 
    protect myself by acting deaf.

  Y Don’t be inconsistent.  That completely   
    confuses me & makes me lose faith in you.

  Y  Don’t tell me my fears are silly.  They’re 
    terribly real & you can do a lot to reassure  
    me, if you try to understand.

  Y Don’t spoil me - I know quite well that I 
    shouldn’t get everything I want - I’m only  
    testing you

  Y Don’t let me form bad habits. I have to 
    rely on you to detect them in the early sages.

  Y Don’t correct me in front of people if 
    you can help it.  I’ll take much more notice 
    if you talk to me quietly, in private.
  Y Don’t ever suggest that you’re                             
    perfect & don’t make mistakes. It gives        
    me too great a shock when I find out           
    you’re not.

  Y Don’t ever think it’s beneath your 
    dignity to apologize to me.  An honest 
    apology makes me feel surprisingly 
    warm toward you.

  Y Don’t forget how quickly I am growing 
    up.  It must be hard for you to keep up 
    with me, but please do try.

  Y Don’t forget that I only thrive with
    lots of love & understanding. 
    But I don’t need to tell you that, do I?

  Y Please keep yourself healthy.  
    I need you.

                                     Author unknown

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Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists

DEVELOPMENTAL STAGES +Developmental_Stages_+.html