FOCUS
A family's purpose (in
western culture) consists of
the living, nourishing,
sharing and development of
life, built on a strong, solid
relationship with each other.
All actions are generated
from those healthy
connections & are
characterized by love,
acceptance of individuality,
trust and continual
negotiation, to make those
individual differences blend.
They have worked out an
approach, incorporating
their individual differences,
into a new unified, caring,
consistent, respectful
approach to each other, to
their children & other
people, using consensus.
From DAWN COVE ABBEY . org
HEALTHY FAMILIES - Characteristics
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Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists
Communicating
The most important quality. Get to know one another by talking
and listening. Learn to respond, rather than react. Use family
meal time for conversation between all members of the family.
Affirming and Supporting
All family members must express appreciation for and give praise
to one another. Do not pressure with unrealistic expectations.
Respecting Others
Start with respect for self, then learn to respect individual
differences within the family. Learn to live with one another.
(Respect is not the same as approval.)
Trusting
Begins with parents who trust each other deeply. Give children
opportunities to earn trust, & help them to accept responsibility
for their own behavior.
Respecting Privacy
Respect the right to be alone, to be different, and to change.
Expand mutually negotiated rules as children mature.
Getting Help
Even the best of families have problems. Seek help in the early
stages of a problem. Not all problems can be solved within the
family. When necessary, seek professional assistance.
Sharing Time
Lack of time and energy is your family's worst enemy. Develop a
sense of play and humor. Learn to balance private time and
collective leisure time. Prioritize your activities and make time
for one another.
Fostering Responsibility
Exhibit a sense of shared responsibility. As children grow,
gradually give them more responsibility. This means more than
doing chores, but not necessarily orderliness and perfection.
The consequences of irresponsibility are used as valuable lessons.
Teaching Morals
Parents need to teach clear and specific guidelines about right
and wrong. Each family has different values, but the parents
should agree on the values they consider most important. Avoid
inconsistency between example and teaching.
Sharing Traditions & Spirituality
Family rituals and traditions give us a sense of stability and a
sense of belonging. The potential for satisfying family
relationships is far greater among spiritually oriented families
than among those who do not share a faith/ deep belief system.
Regularly attend appropriate groups, together. Pass on beliefs in
positive and meaningful ways.
Valuing Service
Serve others, whether inside or outside of your family. Be
responsive to others' needs, without over-doing.
Keep volunteer time under control.