HEAL & GROW for ACoAs
 

BOUNDARIES (Bs)- Healthy

MENTAL With regard to YOURSELF: • value your opinions, as much as others • know what you believe & want • trust your own decisions, defining your truth, as you see it • know when the problem is yours, & when it belongs to someone else • empower yourself to make healthy choices & be responsible for yourself • be assertive (not aggressive) by stating opinions, emotions & needs, respectfully • say No or Yes, and know that you're OK when others say No to you With regard to OTHERS: • be able to ask for help when you need it • go slow in a new relationship while you check for compatibility • you decide whether a potential relationship will be good for you • recognize that friends and partners are not mind readers • give personal information gradually, in a 
 mutually trusting atmosphere, then check to see how the other person responds • communicate needs & wants clearly in all relationships • avoid expectations - know that you might get turned down, but still have the right to ask • notice any time others boundary-invade you • respect other’s boundaries - like, ask them if it’s ok before touching them
EMOTIONAL With regard to YOURSELF: • become your own good parent - take care of your own needs • talk to yourself with gentleness, respect and humor • have high self-esteem, know yourself • have a strong sense of identity • acknowledge your shadow self, without judgement • be committed to and responsible for exploring & nurturing your full potential • be responsible for your own happiness & fulfillment • know your limits - don’t giving too much, in the hope that someone will like you • don’t compromise your values or integrity to avoid possible rejection With regard to OTHERS: • move step-by-step into intimacy • develop appropriate trust, based on current reality (what you know about them) • allow others to define their own limits • allow others to be responsible for their own happiness and fulfillment • expect reciprocity in all relationships • have an equal partnership where responsibility and power are shared • have respect for others — don’t take advantage of someone’s generosity AND don't let others take advantage of yours • don't tolerate emotional abuse or disrespect from anyone
CO-DEPENDENT PATTERNSCo-Dependence_-_DEF.html

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Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists

HEALTHY BOUNDARIES