DECISION MAKING Styles
Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists
STAY IN PLACE
• Wait for the right moment
• It’s the safe thing to do
• Hope for a miracle to get out of a mess
• Keep my options open (indefinitely)
BENEFITS
• Keep the peace
• Maintain face
• Avoid criticism
• Harder to fail, this way
• Eliminates stress of openly asserting
my values
LIABILITIES
• Develop ulcers
• Lose self-esteem
• Never get a chance to succeed
• Forced to accept ever-greater looses to
maintain current position
RISK A CHANGE
• Exercise more initiative
• Act on my own best judgement
• Accept the challenge of change
• See if the change will provide the desired
results
BENEFITS
• Gain the chance to succeed
• Gain self-esteem from being the agent of
power in my own life
• Become capable of change
LIABILITIES
• I can never fall on one’s face, lest
everyone cries “Shame”
• I will have to compromise other goals
• The change may not bring about the
desired outcome or satisfaction. I may
discover I was deceiving myself
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