✬ My good Es come from me liking me

  ✬ I tell the truth about how I feel (no 

    manipulations), even when I’m afraid of

    the feared or real consequences

  ✬ My self-esteem comes from solving my own 

  problems & when necessary, feeling my pain

  ✬ I’m aware of my true wants & needs

  ✬ My commitment to ‘Strength, Hope & Recovery’

    determine what I do & say, rather than my

   ‘fear of abandonment’




  ✬ My mental attention is focused on pleasing 

   me, even if or when it may not please you

  ✬ My attention is on protecting me, even if  

   that sometimes leaves you feeling unsafe

  ✬ I verbalize my needs & wants, when &

   where it’s appropriate

  ✬ my dreams for the future are m own,

   even when they are not linked to you

  ✬ I keep my opinions & values, because

    they’re the core of me, therefore ‘sacred ‘


  ✬ Your struggle matters to me because I care for you, BUT it does not control how

      I feel about myself

  ✬ Your actions & appearance are your own business, no matter how it makes me

     feel, since you are not a reflection of me

  ✬ I have no control over your feelings of anger & your emotions don’t determine

     my actions, BUT I don’t accept abusive behavior from you

  ✬ I can be giving because pleasing you makes me feel good - not to feel safe or

     put off being scared. 

  ✬ I also want to receive from you - because I have a right to be treated well,

     not as proof that you love me

  ✬ I keep & expand my social circle.  I hope you’ll like my friends but if you don’t,

     I can accept that

  ✬ I respect your opinions & procedures, but not at the expense of mine

  ✬ The quality & value of my life is separate from yours, with distinct boundaries     

     between the way we live & express ourselves

  ✬ I don’t tell everything about myself right away or ‘fall in love’ before having    

    enough information about the other or how we interact

  ✬ I allow time for friendships & love to develop over time.

  ✬ I don’t get overwhelmed by your interest in me

  ✬ I don’t overlook inappropriate behavior


  ✬ I pursue my own hobbies & interests, even when that means spending

    some time way from you

  ✬  I take actions to get my own needs & wants met, whenever possible

  ✬ Me actions are only determined by my need to take care of myself

  ✬ When things need to get done, I operate from a position of choice,

    of letting go (not controlling) & by trusting Higher Power, especially

    when I have to say No to someone else’s needs or wants


Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists