Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists



  A long-standing destructive way of living.
  It’s based on an inadequate sense of self, from 
  childhood, as a result of not receiving 
  Unconditional Love & support, not being seen, 
  nurtured or guided wisely. 
  Therefore, co-dependents look to others to tell 
  them who they are, how they feel, think or act.


people as substitute  

parents so they don’t

have to face the pain of  ‘growing up’ emotionally.


people to make themselves 

feel valued, instead of 

learning how to value 



 ✥  I don’t believe I’m a lovable or
    worthwhile person

 ✥  I’m sure nothing I think, feel or say is       
    ever good enough

 ✥ I’m a perfectionist, & have trouble    
    making decisions

 ✥  I’m afraid to express any opinion or    
    feeling that’s different from others

 ✥ I have trouble identifying or feeling 
    my emotions

 ✥ I change, minimize or deny how I truly     

 ✥ I’m afraid of my anger, yet sometimes 
    I erupt in rage

 ✥ I’m afraid of being hurt & of being    

 ✥ I worry about how others will respond 
    to my emotions, opinions or actions

 ✥ I compromise my own values & integrity
    to avoid others’ disapproval or anger

 ✥ I don’t ask others to meet my needs,
    wants or dreams

 ✥ I am embarrassed to get praise,        
    recognition or gifts

 ✥ I put others’ needs & desires before 
    my own

 ✥ I’m very sensitive to how others are   
    feeling - & then I feel the same way

 ✥ I value other people’s opinions &   
    emotions more than my own

 ✥ I’m extremely loyal, staying in harmful    
    situations way too long

  ✥ I value others’ approval of my thinking,
    emotions & actions, over my own
 ✥  I agree with others so they’ll like me

 ✥  I put aside my own interests & concerns 
     in order to do what others want
 ✥  I think of myself as completely unselfish 
     & dedicated to the well-being of others

 ✥  I ask for help & nurturing only when I’m
     sick, & then reluctantly
 ✥  I use sex to gain approval & acceptance
 ✥  I can’t stand to see others in pain
 ✥  I believe most other people are incapable
      of taking care of themselves
 ✥  I feel good about myself only when I’m
      helping others
 ✥ I must be needed in order to have any 
    kind of relationship with others

 ✥ I focus my attention on protecting others

 ✥ I’m very good at guessing how others feel

 ✥ I can anticipate others’ needs & desires
    before they even ask for them

 ✥ I try to convince others what they ‘truly’ 
    think or should’ feel

 ✥ I freely offer advice & directions without
    being asked

 ✥ I become resentful when others won’t let
    me help them

 ✥ I lavish gifts & favors on those I care about

 ✥ I keep score of my good deeds & favors, &
    get angry when they’re not reciprocated

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