HEAL & GROW  for ACoAs


3 A’s of AL-ANON

(A 12-Step group for Families & Friends of Alcoholics) :


   Honestly identify, without white-washing it, what 

   truly happened to you growing up, the resulting  

   negative patterns of thinking & actions, & the

   depth of your hidden emotional pain.

              “If it’s hysterical, it’s historical”.


   Acknowledge & digest what you’ve uncovered,   

   for as long as it takes, patiently & with

   compassion, in stead of self-judgement. 

   This ‘A‘ has nothing to do with liking something.   

   Just WHAT the truth is! 

   It also does not mean giving up, or that it’s   

   hopeless! On the contrary - ACCEPTANCE is a   

   prerequisite for change.


   Whenever possible, change your behavior to

   match a more compassionate and realistic

   present-day view of yourself & the world.

   Be patient! 

   Sometimes, no action is required or appropriate. 

   That too is a change.  Sometimes the action may

   be the same -  what’s needed is a change in the

   MOTIVE, such as doing it for yourself.

***The ACoA version of this prayer Is:

   “God grant me the strength to change    
         the things I cannot accept” !


(AA = Alcoholics anonymous)

  1. We are going to know a new freedom &

   a new happiness

  1. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it

  2. We will comprehend the word serenity 

   & we will know peace 

  1. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others

  2. The feeling of uselessness & self-pity   will disappear

  3. We will lose interest in selfish things & gain an interest in our fellow man

• Self-seeking will slip away

  1. Our whole attitude & outlook upon life will change

  2. Fear of people & economic insecurity    will leave us

  3. We will intuitively know how to handle

   situations which used to baffle us

  1. We will suddenly realize that God is   doing for us what we could not do for ourselves


  ✶ Just for today I will try to live thru’          

  this day only, & not tackle all my problems    

  at once. I can do something for 2 hours that

  would appall me if I felt I had to keep it up

  for a lifetime.

  ✶ Just for today I will be happy.  This

  assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln

  said: “Most folks are as happy as they make

  up their minds to be.”

   ✶ Just for today I will adjust myself to what

   is, & not try to adjust everything to my own

   desires. I will take my ‘luck’ as it comes, &

   fit myself to it.

   ✶ Just for today I will try to strengthen my

   mind.  I will study. I will learn something

   useful.  I will not be a mental loafer.  I will

   read something that requires effort, though

   & concentration.

   ✶ Just for today I will exercise my soul in

   three ways.  I will do somebody a good turn

   & not get found out. If anyone knows of it It

   will not count.  I will do at least two things

   I don’t want to do - just for the experience.

   ✶ Just for today I will be agreeable.  

   I will look as well as I can, keep my

   voice low, be courteous, dress   

   becomingly & criticize not one bit.

   I won’t find fault with anything, nor

   try to improve or regulate anyone but


   ✶ Just for today I will have a program.

   I  may not follow it exactly but I will

   have it.  I will save myself from two

   pests: hurry & indecision.

   ✶  Just for today I will have a quiet

   half hour all to myself, & relax.

   Sometime during that half hour I will

   try to get a better perspective on my


   ✶ Just for today I will be unafraid.  I  

   especially I will not be afraid to enjoy

   what is beautiful, & will believe that

   as I give to the world, so the world

   will give to me.



           “God grant me the serenity to accept

                          the things I cannot change,

  The courage to change

  the things I can,

                          And the wisdom to know

                          the difference “            

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Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists

The 3 Cs of Al-Anon, related to other people’s addictions, illnesses & personal problems.

   • I didn’t CUASE it

       • I can’t CONTROL it

              • I can’t CURE it