HEAL & GROW for ACoAs
 
Rating Scale               NAMES                          
  1  =  NONE
  2  =  POOR
  3  =  FAIR
  4  =  GOOD
  5  =  GREAT

FRIENDS - What are yours like?

 
 CHOSE YOUR FRIENDS & LOVERS WISELY!   
    
      How well do they suit you & how well 
      do they treat you?  
      That will show your self-esteem & how 
      well you protect your Inner Child.
  
   ONLY YOU can decide who’s right for you!

ABOUT THEM

  Is honest, usually tells the truth   ______________________________ 

  • Is creative, artistic, intuitive      _______________________________

  • Is not generally judgmental or insulting   _______________________  

  • Actively seeks inner growth AND it shows!    _____________________ 

  • Has strong spiritual interests (may not be your)    ________________ 

  • Is usually enthusiastic & appreciative of life    ___________________

  • Is trustworthy & dependable - keeps their word  _________________   

  • Is not a gossip, can keep confidences     _________________________

  • Has good boundaries (not walls!)    _____________________________

  • Good sense of humor & play, fun to be with   ____________________

  • Intellectually interesting, curious, knowledgeable  _______________

  • Is sober / abstinent from major addictions    _____________________

  • Has a generally positive, hopeful outlook & opinions    ____________

  • Has good self-esteem, takes good care of    ______________________

  • Not devious, scheming or manipulative   ________________________

  • Not afraid of expressing opinions AND emotions, appropriately   ___ 

  • Is compassionate & understanding      ___________________________

  • Is an interested & intelligent listener     ________________________ 

  • Is a thoughtful & appropriate gift-giver     ______________________   

  • Is generally assertive, not usually aggressive    __________________ 

  • Has their own full & interesting life      _________________________

  • Has good follow-trough capacity (usually shows up)     ____________ 

  • Is comfortable receiving compliment, gifts, help      ______________

 


IN RELATION TO ME

  We have many interest in common      __________________________

  • Is ok with my mistakes, is not critical     ________________________

  • Is loyal - on my side, backs me up, not jealous / envious   _________

  • Doesn’t need me to take care of them (not needy)    _____________

  • Is not usually controlling or tells me what I ‘should’ do    _________

  • Respects my time & energy (not hanging on)   ___________________

  • Shares their concerns, woes & needs but does not ‘dump‘  _______

  • Capable of emotional support, affirms my self-worth    __________

  • Doesn’t take their anger out on me (or others)     _______________

  • Is able to share - not competitive with me     ___________________

  • Is considerate of where I’m at, even if I don’t need help   ________

  • Considers me as important in their life as their lover/ spouse  ____

  • Is available for practical help if I really need it (not rescuing)   ___

  • Can initiate plans, keep in contact, respond to communications __

  • Never takes advantage of me financially     ______________________

  • Does not try to ‘fix’ me, give unsolicited advice     _______________

  • Has similar values as mine     _________________________________                          



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Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists

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DONNA M TORBICO   ⓒ 1986